Tales from the water's edge

There was this man from Edinburgh who had come up to attend a meeting. In the morning, he was due to go up to the relevant office for 10 am. This office is about 10 minutes' walk up the road, and although it was raining, he was going to walk. "I've got an umbrella", he said. Mrs B offered to call a taxi, but that was declined. Not too wise a decision, if truth be known. Apart from the quite heavy rain, our chap failed to observe that it was blowing a gale. So, out he went, blissfully unfurling his umbrella - which was almost halfway up the road within seconds, with him not far behind. He returned inside and requested a taxi be called after all.

There was a man and his girlfriend, no not his wife, who came up for a weekend away. Bonding by bicycle, I think the motto was. On day 1, they cycled up the east coast, but got drenched in the showers. What cyclist does not carry wet weather gear, I hear you ask. Well, more is to follow. The lady caught a chill and stayed in bed, being spoonfed tea and toast by her beloved. They had booked to go on a trip - that they did not go on. The operators rang mrs B to ask where they were. The answer was that he was in the supermarket and no, it would appear they were going to cancel. Finally, reading a timetable is tricky. But the most important bit is to read the correct timetable. You can leave the islands of Lewis and Harris (which are one contiguous landmass) on three different ferry routes. The first is the link to Ullapool out of Stornoway; the second is the ferry to Skye out of Tarbert in Harris; the third links Harris with North Uist to the south. Anyway, our chap told mrs B he would leave on the 4pm ferry for Ullapool. You guessed it, there is no 4pm ferry. Oh, there is one from Tarbert at 4 o'clock, but their car was at Ullapool, and it is one heck of a journey to travel from Skye to Ullapool by public transport. They eventually left on the 1.45pm ferry, after a weekend wash-out.