Peyton Place in the Highlands

Somewhere in the Scottish Highlands

- "Hi, Henry, you've taken a long time coming back from Africa"
- "Ach, you know, EJ, blinking northerlies all the way up from Morocco. Got you a ---"
Henry looks askance at his partner as she squats protectively.
- "What's that you're sitting on?"
- "Eggs!", EJ exclaims with maternal pride and tenderness. "Laid them just a week ago"
Wrong thing to say.
- "EGGS?!" Henry screams. "Is that so? And how did they come about, with me over the Atlas Mountains, eh? The immaculate misconception, I suppose?"
Henry's fury is so immense that his partner flies off the nest. Instead of taking over incubating, he unceremoniously kicks the eggs over the edge. They plop on the forest floor and break. He then flies off to the river to catch himself some fish. Next morning, he's back on the nest, finding EJ crouching down low.
- "What's wrong with you?" he asks gruffly.
- "I'm laying an egg to replace the ones you kicked out", his partner explains, looking very hurt. Half an hour later, two brand new eggs adorn the nest, but they fail to placate Henry.
- "Right. So where was I with these ones, dear? Bay of Biscay?" EJ cowers down as Henry continues to spit with rage. "Since you left me in Africa, I haven't had a moment with you, and yet you're churning out bloody eggs like a battery hen."
With a scornful look in his eye, Henry unceremoniously kicks the new eggs over the edge, where they join the old ones on the forest floor, equally broken.
- "I know what's been going on here. Do not let me ever catch you with that chancer VS. He's a good-for-nothing fly-by-night. I'm not gonna waste my time bringing up his bastard off-spring, thank you very much". EJ screams with her loss and flies off in search of food, whilst Henry leaves in the opposite direction.

Postscript
The latest news is that EJ once more laid an egg just before the weekend and this time Henry flew in with a fish and took over incubating. EJ and Henry are ospreys, nesting in a reserve near Boat of Garten, southeast of Inverness. Ospreys have nested there for nearly 50 years, and the location of their nest is a closely guarded secret.

The above story,although humanised, is actually based on fact. Read the story of the jealous osprey here and the reconciliation with his mate here.

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