Observations

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting  something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

 If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things  left over by those who got there first.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing  well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.