Tuesday 20 February 2007

Lost contact

I would just like to share an experience that I had 2 years ago, when I was exchanging emails with a person in the USA. It was before I was involved in J-land, and only a few people read my blog, which I started as a personal diary of my travels and walks at the time. This person was quite unwell, and as is my wont, I tried to be as supporting as you can be by email. An exchange of medical information followed, but as I only had limited time on-line (1 hour every day, in the public library here in Stornoway), contact faded after a few weeks. Things broke down completely when I relayed a few jokemails, which I would send out to a small circle of acquaintances on AOL. The joke, which I don't remember in detail, was probably a swipe at Americanism in the wake of the start of the Iraq War. I thought it was a harmless joke. Not to this person.

It transpired that this person had visited Europe with the family, and had had a very bad experience. The family had been subjected to verbal and physical abuse for being Americans whilst on a visit to Rome. My AOL contact had grown a fully blown hatred of Europeans, and took umbrage at anything I said, verbally attacking me for being European. That is the stage at which I took the conscious decision, agreed with the other person, to break off contact. I am sad about that, but there was no point carrying on.

The American government's foreign policy doesn't always make it many friends, but it is not on to take it out on individual people just out on a holiday abroad. It also demonstrates again that the Internet is actually a very distant medium for maintaining contact with people. You are left without non-verbal communication, which constitutes 70% of communication. And that leaves a very crude medium, without the nuances of speech, facial expression and body language.

6 comments:

  1. I have made friends on the internet that fade away after awhile and it is kind of sad when that happens. And there isn't anything that you can do about it. Maybe somewhere down the line your paths will cross again and the two of you can work thru this and become friends again.
    Maria

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so right about it being such a limited medium of communication.  
    I've had friends who have travelled to Rome, and Paris and have had really bad experiences there.  I was quite surprised.
    Sorry about your friend.
    Pam

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jesse is always cautious of how he is perceived as an American when he travels for his military duty.  It's sad, really...  we're just people..no matter where we're from, at the end of the day...

    ..wishing you a great day...

    ~Amy

    ReplyDelete
  4. People can be so hateful

    ReplyDelete
  5. You made a very good point.  It's sad that that person had such a bad experience.
    Lori
    http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahh, yeah.... it's not just about  being American, it''s also being British, Scottish, German. All of us tend to think we are better more civilized than the next. But as war so often points out, we all bleed. It brings back , what I was saying in my post, I will NOT judge. To judge is in its own sense an invitation to have judgement brought around on yourself as well. I actually love my non American friends. (Hugs) Indigo

    ReplyDelete