Several writers in J-land have made entries or comments this week about transparency in their journals. How much of your life do you show in your journal?
Gerry (who writes Daughters of the Shadowmen) has found the courage to tell the story of a life of abuse at the hands of her family. It is a taboo subject in society, and some of the entries in her blog are very hard to stomach. Nonetheless, raising awareness and opening up the subject may help others who are too scared to speak about what happened to them, or perhaps is still happening. The subject of addiction, which haunts her partner Doc, is also openly discussed.
Lisa (Please don't take life for granted) tells the story of her complex illness, again raising awareness of the multitude of medical conditions that beset her. Apart from that, she is also letting us in on her private life, showing pictures and videos of her home and immediate family. There are many like her, quite a few ladies suffering from various forms of cancer blog on AOL, recording in greater or lesser detail the impact their disease makes, both physically and emotionally.
I have picked out two writers, although there are plenty others amongst the 100-odd journals that I have on my list that equally deserve a similar mention.
Lisa has mentioned that she uses a private journal for 'rants'. Several people have gone private in the year or so that I have been active in J-land as such. Reasons for that include wishing to shield the writings from unwelcome eyes. Family members, employers, crackpots.
And that is where the crux comes. How much of your life do you expose to the world in your blog. Because it's not just the people in J-land that read your blog. I'm aware of lurkers in Northern Trip. I limit myself in what I write about in my own blog. The weather (a hobby of mine), events in the Highlands and Islands of Scotland. Just to name a few. Oh, I nearly forgot: the diary. But that's where the limits come within easy range.
So, what do YOU write about. Or more importantly: what do you NOT write about.
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Although writing is said to be therapeutic, I do not think it can replace the talking therapies. One needs real encounters in a real life to be real. That's my opinion. I think anyone using their blogs to vent some feelings will benefit from them. Going private or excluding most to only allowing some is a personal choice that aol respects for providing this possibility. I personally don't go private, the only reason is that I want to reach more than just a few that are perhaps going to tell me the same things again and again. I like diversity and even different thoughts or opinions. I don't see the point to go private unless it is only for me or for work purpose with confidential elements in it. So, my blog is about my life and I would not burden people with my address or even my sex life. That remains between me and the close family. Otherwise, all the rest are only ideas, they come and go like the feelings and I have nothing to hide. I like sharing them.
ReplyDeleteNice topic Guido. As you can see I stayed on the serious side this time.
Valerie
I work a lot from home, & read a few alerts as a 'break' in between things, but don't often answer them until later. This hit close to home for me though. I stopped writing my Blog 'Francesco's Life' about my dad & I, & dealing with his dementia because of how personal it became. I deleted it. I showed such a more wounded, insecure self because of things that had happened to dad, & to me in the work place & in life. It was raw, but it was true & it was me.
ReplyDeleteI should have kept it. The new blog has become very personal as well. I am letting it go where it may. Life is messy. I sure hope it is worth it. If I can't tell it true, I would just rather not tell it at all. Judging by the number of comments & personal emails I receive, the majority of people like the truth. ~Mary
Hey Guido...Interesting...someone wrote me the other day and mentioned how they know little about me....Of course, that stimulated my mind so I need to write about that topic today...but it takes a brave person to tell their stories...it also takes someone whose willing to share their treasures....for me, I prefer the mountains over socializing, so it takes someone really special before I open up my life...usually I do it for them...because I just dont need to vent and tell my stories..........although this last month I started sharing a little bit more about my life to a few, so I wonder if hormones are going differently, or if I am needing to talk or maybe I'm changing in some way..
ReplyDeleteI feel somewhat vulnerable when I share my stories and that is tough on me...I dont like that feeling...although I am willing to be that way........ but just with a few people...my loner side is stretched to do any more than that.....-Raven
You have to remember that I am 75 years old. Most of the people I talk about in regard to such heavy subjects as child molesting have passed on. Even now I do not discuss certain people's behavior because they are alive and well. I don't even indicate these people are there if I think repercussions might be too great. So I think we all have our limitations, according to how old we are, how much punishment we might merit if we do, etc.
ReplyDeleteWriters in the public eye always have to consider these problems. I have suppressed novels for years because of this. Eugene O'Neill, for example, wrote a play about his family's severe dysfunction (alcohol and drug abuse) and requested it not be produced for 25 years after his death! His widow did not respect his wishes, and this play was immediately recognized as probably his greatest work. I published 4 scenes from my dysfunctional family play, "Daughters of the Shadow Men," but stopped short at that out of respect to my sisters and their families. Gerry
I simply 'put it all out there', I could care less who reads it, those who know me already know my life story, & those that read my journal do too. All they need do is check out the links listed on my all about me section. :) During my 1 year with my journal have only had 2 hecklers.
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend.
Sugar
Guido, thx for stopping by This is my World, and many thx for all your kind words the past few weeks. Your awesome!!! Wishing you a wonderful day, Riss
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic Guido. Everyone has different reasons for journaling, be it jokes, recipes, weather, hobbies, pets, travel, or just for pouring your heart out and venting. It's not always about airing dirty laundry and skeletons in closets. A journal should be for expressing whatever you wish, and whatever you are feeling, dealing with, or trying to cope with, but no matter what it is you chose to talk about, it should be honest and truthful. Of course there are always things that we don't discuss with anyone, much less the public. Do our spouses, family, and children need to know every single thing about us? I don't think it's necessary, however, it is necessary for some people and that's therapy for them, and they help others by doing it.
ReplyDeleteMandy ~
Guido,
ReplyDeleteThank you. :o) It is hard to decide what to put in your journal when I'm writting and what not. I do a lot of back spacing! :o) And I do want to put so much more about me and my life of what I'm going through with my illnesses. I have heard from a few people that all I do is write about negative things..my illnesses...which to me are just about me and thats it. I feel that they are the ones that are missing out. Again, thank you Guido. :o)
Lisa
Our journals are are own and in theory we should be able to write about anything that we wish to. Nonetheless, I do not talk about my traumatic childhood or some of the experiences I have been through in my life and also trouble with a certain member of my family. Why? Not because of shame but because of the lurkers, you just do not know how many people read public journals. Also there is the possibility that a relative would pass details of anything I chose to write on to another family member, a person of whom I could tell some real horror stories. I chose not to write much about medical problems either because quite a few already do that and people do not want to read the same thing over and over however sympathetic they might be. It is difficult. I have often thought of starting a private journal where people could get to know some of what I have been through. However, there is that niggle. Who exactly can you trust? Do we ever really truly know anybody on here? I mean trust them enough to share everything with them knowing it will not be passed on.
ReplyDeletehttp://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/