Not my resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned.  I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3.  After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was only a sew-sew job.

4.  Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5   Then, I tried to be a Chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6.  I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any  way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7.  My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8.  I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9.  Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.  I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10.  I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11.  I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12.  So then I got a job in a Workout Center , but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13.  After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally g! ot a jo b as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14.  My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
 
 
15.  SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB !!!!