Sunday 25 November 2007

I don't like shopping either

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women-she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least...

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Walmart

14 comments:

  1. That is cute, I hope this doesn't give men any ideas!  :)
    Lisa

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  2. LOL...I loved it! :o)
    Lisa

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  3. ROFL!!!!! That was soooo funny...AND  right now I'm humming the MI2 tune!!!!
    The last one was brilliant too!!! When I retire will remember not to take Dear Husband along LOL.

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  4. Very Funny, just the tonic for a miserable afternoon

    Yasmin

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  5. Bet she didnt take him with her again lol ....love Jan xx

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  6. That's a good one. I guess it's true, that if you're asked to do something you really don't want to do, do it poorly and you'll never be asked to do it again.   Linda in Washington

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  7. you sure you have the right surnames there? Im sure thats my hubby youre on about lol xxx
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/domestic-chaos/

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  8. I love this joke... I have seen it before... never fails to make me laugh!

    be well,
    Dawn
    http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

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  9. Thanks for the laugh Guido.

    Sunny

    jttp://journals.aol.com/blazensun/ishallovercome/

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  10. Love it, just brilliant...I knew there was a reason not to take chaps shopping....this..is why! Hilarious! x

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  11. haha!  I should try that next time I have to go to Wal-Mart.  Evil corporation as they are and all.

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  12. LOL.........June:)

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  13. Cute:)  Of course, women shouldn't be forced to shop, either.  Sometimes, sure, it can be nice, but not necessarily!

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  14. OMG this was FUNNY!!!
    Pam

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