Tuesday, 30 January 2007

Actual medical chart notes

  1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
  2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
  4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
  6. Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  7. The patient refused autopsy.
  8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
  9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
  10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
  11. She is numb from her toes down
  12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  13. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  14. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
  15. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9 comments:

  1. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    I'm not surprised...are you?   Lol!   Jeanie

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  2. And shes numb from the toes down ,no 1 is funny too lol lol ..love Janxx

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  3. All terribly funny,but ya gotta love-Alive without my permission!!
    ~connie~

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  4. Forty pound weight gain in three days?! Wow, someone who can put it on quicker than me! Lol! Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/

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  5. hahahahaha....those were funny....teenage childen but no other abnormalities.  I can relate...

    ~Amy

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  6. HA HA HA These are funny Guido!  
    Pam

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  7. woah! :):) makes a person think!
    natalie

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  8. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!  "lol" can be a cliche, but I really did laugh out loud at these, tears running down my cheeks!  Teenage children *can* be "abnormalities"!  And I think my favorite is the "occasional, constant, infrequent headaches"!  Love these!
    Lori

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  9. Too funny.  Over the years in the medical field I've known some medical transcriptionists and have heard some good ones, I wish I'd written them down. Linda in Washington state

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