Thursday, 25 October 2007

Headlines to ponder

Crack Found on  Governor's Daughter   
[imagine that!]      

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says   
[no, really?]       

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers    
[now that's taking things a bit far!]       

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?     
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]      

Panda Mating Fails;  Veterinarian Takes Over   
[what a guy!]      

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[good-for-nothin',  lazy so-and-sos!]      

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]       

War Dims Hope for Peace    
[I can see where it might have that effect!]     

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.  
[you think?]      

Cold Wave Linked  to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]     

Couple Slain; Police   Suspect Homicide 
[they may be on to something!]   

Red Tape Holds   Up New Bridges 
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]  

Man Struck By Lightning   Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]  

Astronaut Takes   Blame for Gas    in Spacecraft 
[They really shouldn't serve beans at the Space Center.]    

Local High School  Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]     

Hospitals are Sued   by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]  

And the winner is....  

Typhoon Rips Through   Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
[Did I read that sign right?]

This reminds me of the sign at the road going into the cemetery in Grimsby, Ontario:  "No Exit."
(You don't have to rub it in.)


  1. Thanks for the laugh Guido, who makes up these headlines?! Jeannette xx  

  2. I wish I could have read the rest of the news article ,hee hee ,on some of these storys lol Jan xx

  3. It does make you wonder what ppl are thinking..very funny though

  4. Love 'em....have sent them on to my niece it will give her a laugh..she needs one just now.  Thanks

  5. seraphoflove900125 October 2007 at 21:20

    LOL...I loved them! :o)

  6. OMGosh!!!  These had me literally laughing so hard, I couldn't catch my breath!!!!
    These are HILARIOUS!!!!   Thanks for a good laugh, Guido!!!


  7. To funny.......LOL.......June:)