Thursday, 25 October 2007

Headlines to ponder

Crack Found on  Governor's Daughter   
[imagine that!]      

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says   
[no, really?]       

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers    
[now that's taking things a bit far!]       

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?     
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]      

Panda Mating Fails;  Veterinarian Takes Over   
[what a guy!]      

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[good-for-nothin',  lazy so-and-sos!]      

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]       

War Dims Hope for Peace    
[I can see where it might have that effect!]     

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.  
[you think?]      

Cold Wave Linked  to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]     

Couple Slain; Police   Suspect Homicide 
[they may be on to something!]   

Red Tape Holds   Up New Bridges 
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]  

Man Struck By Lightning   Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]  

Astronaut Takes   Blame for Gas    in Spacecraft 
[They really shouldn't serve beans at the Space Center.]    

Local High School  Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]     

Hospitals are Sued   by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]  


And the winner is....  

Typhoon Rips Through   Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
[Did I read that sign right?]

This reminds me of the sign at the road going into the cemetery in Grimsby, Ontario:  "No Exit."
(You don't have to rub it in.)

7 comments:

  1. Thanks for the laugh Guido, who makes up these headlines?! Jeannette xx  

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  2. I wish I could have read the rest of the news article ,hee hee ,on some of these storys lol ...love Jan xx

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  3. It does make you wonder what ppl are thinking..very funny though
    Yasmin

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  4. Love 'em....have sent them on to my niece it will give her a laugh..she needs one just now.  Thanks

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  5. seraphoflove900125 October 2007 at 21:20

    LOL...I loved them! :o)
    Lisa

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  6. OMGosh!!!  These had me literally laughing so hard, I couldn't catch my breath!!!!
    These are HILARIOUS!!!!   Thanks for a good laugh, Guido!!!

    Joann

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  7. To funny.......LOL.......June:)

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