Mushroom mayhem

With thanks to June

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month. Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. 

When it came time for Dick and Jane Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Jane wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Jane got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive."  He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? T here are plenty of them right in the creek bed."   She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."  He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."  

After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some.  She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.  Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Jane even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.  About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."

With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there.  We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep  them all there and keep them calm."

 It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.  When they got there, the EMT's got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!