Spicy Chinese proverbs

Spicy Chinese Proverbs!   

*      "Virginity like bubble. . . One prick - all gone!"   
*      "Man who run in front of car get tired"   
*      "Man who run behind car get exhausted"   
*      "Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"   
*      "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."   
*      "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"   
*      "Man with one chopstick go hungry."   
*      "Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."   
*      "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."   
*      "Baseball is wrong. . . Man with four balls cannot walk!"   
*      "Panties not best thing on earth. . . but next to it."  
*      "War doesn't determine who's right . . . War determines who's left."   
*      "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."   
*      "Man who sleep in cat house by day . . . sleep in doghouse by night."  
*      "Man who fight with wife all day . . . get no piece at night!"   
*      "Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"   
*      "It takes many nails to build crib . . . but one screw to fill it."   
*      "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"   
*      "Man who sit on tack get point!"   
*      "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"  
*      "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement!"   
*      "He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."   
*      "Man who farts in church sits in own pew."   
*      "Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion."   
*      "Crowded elevator smells different to midget."