Monday, 18 February 2008

Attitude

In the last 24 hours, I have come across three instances in J-land where people had a problem with the content of journals. One person couldn't take the doom and gloom anymore, two writers had negative feedback on the content of their entries.

I'm not talking X-rated (AC-rated), the issue was one person writing the memoirs of her life, which are pretty tough reading admittedly. She now feels she has to hold back. Another writer gets nasty comments from people who cannot take the fact that her life is ruled by a multitude of medical conditions.

I take the line that if you don't like what you read, you close the window. Yanno, wee red X in the top right corner? Many people feel that by writing down their experiences, it helps them to cope with them. Never mind whether it happened today or many years ago. If it isn't nice, well, tough. Those folk had to live through that.

Rant over.

33 comments:

  1. I totally agree, if you don't want to read a journal you don't have to. But to leave rude comments is just wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well said ..love Jan xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have seen this too recently across journals that I read, the only thing I would caution is using peoples names without their consent, however If you don't want to read a journal then don't.

    Yasmin

    ReplyDelete
  4. You said it well Guido.  
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hello.

    I had to come by and leave you a few words. I have to say that I agree with you on this subject. If someone does NOT like reading a particular journal they should prefer to hit the "X" at the right hand corner and click off of the journal.

    I feel that people should feel comfortable sharing their lives or their problems or the joys in their journal. A journal is a place where a person should feel comfortable enough to express himself or herself without feeling like they will upset someone. I think that it would be a terrible thing if I couldn't be myself in my journal just because someone doesn't like reading it. No one should feel that they should have to hold themselves back from writing what they feel in their journal. I also think its terrible that anyone should get nasty comments from anyone in their journal.

    I think that whatever a person is going through they should feel that they can talk about it in their journal and if the person reading it doesn't like it well that's what the "X" at the top of the right hand corner is for.

    Thanks for sharing this. Do take care.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree 100% Guido. That is what the red x is for if you don't want to read a journal. Leaving nasy comments is a no no. Helen

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have said this many many times. Some things will never change. Because so many are so full of anger that it comes out so easily online where they can hide behind a screen and point there pathetic finger at others.  I pity them really.  However I do wish they were smart enough and had more of a life to clicky the red x'y and move on and leave those alone.
    Hugs
    ang

    ReplyDelete
  8. How unkind at best, cruel at worst.

    ReplyDelete
  9. People can be so cruel Guido. I always try to keep my journal light but I understand some people have suffered and need to write it down. As you say, they can always click the red 'x', which by the way is actually a white 'x'! We all call it red though don't we?! Jeannette xx  

    ReplyDelete
  10. Right on Guido.  I believe the red X is there for a reason.  No one has to visit, read or comment on anything in anyone else's journal.  I feel I'm a guest and I do my best to behave as a polite guest would.   If I can't be polite, I can always stay home.   Rant over here, too.  

    ReplyDelete
  11. totally agree with you, Guido. People who read other people's journals forget one thing, its that person's journal to write what they want when they want!
    betty

    ReplyDelete
  12. Isn't it sad that we have to rant about this subject every once in a while?  I will never understand why anyone feels the need to judge the content of someone else's journal or blog unless asked to do so.  If you don't like what you're reading, then stop reading it.  Or write an entry that refutes what you didn't like and let others comment on YOUR entry.  Don't put someone down because they are writing what they want.  If you must express your own differing opinion in that person's comment section, then do so respectfully, aknowledging their right to their own opinions.  That's my opinion, anyway.
    Lori

    ReplyDelete
  13. I totally understand BOTH sides!!  But I do realize that these journals belong to the author, and they SHOULD write whatever they want to, that's what a journal's purpose is.   ME.... I use the little red 'x' quite often.

    Joann

    ReplyDelete
  14. Very well said, Guido.  It is my philosophy to live and let live...  And WRITE and let WRITE!  It is a PRIVILEGE to be a part of someone's journal and to read their personal thoughts and experiences.  It's so sad, that so many feel the need to abuse that privilege.  

    Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  15. I so agree with you Guedeo.  I am afraid I would be ranting and Raving as well !!  I just can never understand people who are so nasty...Sybil x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Guido
    Your rant is right on target and I agree 100%!  Instead of tearing down folks, just hit the red X and move on.  Live is too short and friends are too dear.  Let us treat each and every member of the journlas community with mutual respect.  There are hundreds of thousands of journals out there to read, so if one doesn't like the pasture they are grazing in, move on to greener acres!  'Nough said!
    Sam

    ReplyDelete
  17. As far as not being able to take the doom & gloom, I have found there are times, or certain people, I have felt that way about, but mostly it was something going on in my life(perhaps that I did not & would not share) that made it less possible for me to process the content in a healthy way for myself. Even wrote an entry once basically saying : stop whining.  Perhaps it was wrong but I think we all need to write a little about the good, balance it out.
    I also(yes, just a personal belief & I know I could be dead wrong as far as others are concerned) get the impression that sometimes when someone writes about hardship & 30 people comment saying :  Everyone treats you so horribly!  That is so sad!  It can actually work against a healthy outlook on your problems. ~Mary

    ReplyDelete
  18. I agree with your observations, Guido. I am of the opinion that if you cannot help with your comments, then don't comment. On the other hand, I think we should not let a few bad apples stop us from writing what we want. We have to deal with different types of people in life and JLand is no different. Delete the comment, block the commenter and move on...

    Vish

    ReplyDelete
  19. I completely agree.

    These journals are for the WRITER.  If he or she is willing to make them public, great, perhaps they will be of interest or aid to another.  If not?  We're certainly not required to read them.  Chose another journal, or egads, a BOOK.  :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kudos to you dear friend! Wonderfully put...I myself don't always post the most happy of journals. I do like to think however I write about topics to make you seriously think. I'm also well aware that people deal with things in their lives in different ways. No one is going to be 100% happy ever. If you want the world to believe that, your lying to yourself. Human nature makes us deal with anger, sorrow, pain, joy, peace and happiness in our own capacity. If your at a place in your life you can't contribute something nice to say, don't say anything, but don't belittle someone else from dealing with it their way either. (Hugs) Indigo

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm back ;-0.  Someone copied & pasted the comment I wrote here earlier & emailed it back to me saying I had hurt someone else's feelings with it(perhaps that "someone else" should have just told me herself & I would have apologized, not for the content or my thought process, because it is indeed how I feel, but for her hurt).  That was surely not my intent, but I do find it funny that the very people who jealously guard their own right to write as they see fit, want to deny me that right. Impulsive rants & snap judgments are very telling.  Anyone who is offended by what I say should let me know & I won't visit their journal or "bother" them, but I will continue to comment as I see fit, as I am sure they will continue to write as they see fit. ~Mary

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Guido,
    I agree with you. I've gotten that kind of experience way back when...and I learned quickly that there are far more greater, nicer and understanding journalers/commenters than unpleasant ones to let me stop writing, though I do take a unpredicatable off from reading and/or writing every now and then.

    Anyway, I guess sometimes, some people or commenters just need a wake up call regarding their comments that to the writer him/herself may find offensive or  unacceptable, negative or hurtful...and remind them that is what the "x" is for.

    I gotta do my rounds..I sure missing a lot..I haven't been reading but got Mary's (F&M) alert and saw your link.

    Take care,
    Gem :-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. J-Land is an interesting experience.  Sometimes it becomes a community that provides support when needed.  Sometimes it is a way for the bloggers to write about and process their real-life experiences, be they joyful or tragic.  Sometimes it's a way to reach out when real life doesn't provide friends and family who are interested and understand.

    I enjoy a good read when I have the time.  There are times when my own life intrudes enough that I can't read continually depressing entries without them having a negative impact on me.  But that's not the blogger's fault.

    When that happens, I turn off alerts and/or take a break.  I wouldn't presume to tell anyone how they should write their entries.  I have certain rights that include deciding what I read and knowing when to use that little "X" in the corner.  My rights don't include telling others what to write.

    I do wish our community would be more kind to one another and give one another the benefit of the doubt.
    loving you with Christ's love
    karyl

    ReplyDelete
  24. Good rant. When I get alerts, I read the bit that's in my alert... if the topic looks of interest, I'll head over to the journal to read the rest.. if not.. I move on.  I do think that these journals are for the writer, but I also think that if one is going to be so open in a public journal, then one should grow a thicker skin. Or realize that the folks that leave negative comments are of no importance in their personal life. Just as the reader can click the red X, the writer can delete negative comments.
    Estela http://journals.aol.com/easteeleco/Lasttimeatbat

    ReplyDelete
  25. Journals are the express property of the journal owners.  As long as no terms and conditions are being violated, then it is open season.  If doom and gloom is on their mind, then that is what should go in the text box.  Like you said, as readers we have complete control over what we decide to read....close out, and move on.  This society is getting way too concerned with pleasing everyone all the time.  It just can't be done, and to try and do it when writing about our feelings, experiences, or whatever is crazy.

    Greg
    http://journals.aol.com/radar446/PhotoTrek/ <----as non-offensive as they get...maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The very reason why i am taking a break from J Land..it's not the writers problem it's mine...as i said in my entry...i cannot change what is happening in anyones life except my own...
    Lyn
    http://journals.aol.com/ukgal36/Britsblog/

    ReplyDelete
  27. I was really surprised to read this Guido.
    Ive always considered my journal to be exactly that - my experiences, my feelings, my thoughts - and basically if someone doesnt like it then they dont have to read it.
    For me its a form of therapy, and it really does help.  Im sure its the same for others.
    Ive had nothing but wonderful supportive comments - for which Im so very grateful.

    ReplyDelete
  28. i totally agree with you guido, if you don't like the content don't read it. mrs t x
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/mleppard06/eternity/

    ReplyDelete
  29. I agree with you Guido....close the box...and move on to those who could care less how someone feels....
    Have a great day...
    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
  30. I agree 100% Guido.  Very well said.  
    My journal is for ME to write what I please whether it be happy or sad.  If someone doesn't want to read, they can click the red x.
    ~D

    ReplyDelete
  31. I can't believe someone would have the nerve to complain what somebody writes in their own journal! That just takes some damn nerve. Hit the X people!
    Pam

    ReplyDelete
  32. I agree, Guido... that's what the RED X is for. Some days I am too overwhelmed myself to read anything that will tax me. Other days, I am strong, and have time on my side, with hopeful, encouraging words to pass on. On days when I'm dragging, I may choose not to read anything in the journal genre. On the otherhand, if I need inspiration I have a few favorites whose journals I will click on in a heartbeat because I know it's like a reviving shot in the arm for me. Life begs to be balanced. We need equilibrium... a little inspiration and a little doom and gloom ... take from one and give to the other. That's what I say! bea

    ReplyDelete
  33. I just got back from taking a break from reading journals because of health issues going on with my son.  So I felt stretched too thin to be able to absorb their downs which I can normally do.  But this has to do with me not with them, for they cannot help medical problems, etc, beyond the reach of anyone to control.  I someetimes think the very sick could benefit from getting into other people's lives more so as to forget the pain of their own for just a little while, but that is very hard to expect some ill people to do.  I recently asked for forbearance from the readers, because I knew I was headed into a very difficult time in my life as well as in other family members' lives in my memoirs.  I prefer fewer readers to open attacks. I think that is less damaging and the reason many don't write about difficult parts of their histories in the first place.  I would like to create a world where people had the tolerance to encourage such, as I think being able to talk about a difficult past is a life saver.  I kept mum for years about molestation issues because of that reason.  I thought it would make life worse than better, but I knew I had to talk about it sooner or later or I would be playing into the hands of all molesters everywhere.  If we are too mean in response, we may surely stop those who are the victimes of horrendous crimes from being able to talk.  We see children murdered all the time who have voiced feeble little cries for help that were ignored.  They risked 'telling on' the abuser.  Unsuccessfully the ones who die.  Are murdered even because they tried to tell. Incest is probably the worst problem some try to tell, because someone doesnot want to believe that a parent has been that bad.    Gerry  

    ReplyDelete